When I was in full on food addiction as an addict, I was selfish. People in my life would never have called the old me selfish, but I was. Most of my focus as a non-vegan was eating my addictive foods of choice, preferably with company. To make this happen, I regularly offered to pay for dinner for others. My intentions were simply to get someone to eat pizza with me. This was not a selfless act on my part, though buying dinner for someone appears selfless.

So much of my brain space as a food addict was taken up by thinking about what foods I wanted to eat, figuring out how to get someone to eat with me or deciding which fast food option to purchase and then of course, regretting overeating and feeling guilt and shame and hopelessness. I was stuck in a never ending loop to nowhere.

As a vegan, I have reclaimed this brain space that was held hostage for so long. Becoming vegan has helped me to expand my circle of compassion to include all. The Director of Animal Justice Academy makes animal advocacy feel achievable when she tells us we don’t have to change the whole world, but we can focus on our own corner. 🙂

So today, I wanted to share with you some thoughts from snowy Calgary. We received 10+ centimeters of snow overnight. When I opened the back door to let my dog out, I could barely push it open there was so much snow. The old me would have rushed out the door to beat traffic and get to work, but now I think about the children who walk to school and shovel in the morning instead of after work to make their walk a touch easier. We often shovel both of our neighbors’ walks as well.

From there, I thought about the birds and went out back to shake the snow off the feeders and re-fill the feeders so they could get the food they need. It’s hard to be a bird; they face many obstacles. I’m doing what I can to make life for the birds in my area a bit better, especially during the harsh winters. I have the space, they are in my yard anyways, why not help them out and they reward me with their song and beautiful presence. When I go outside to fill the feeders and the chirping intensifies, I feel like Cinderella.

Accessing fresh, clean water in the colder months but also during dry heatwaves can be tough for birds so we have a year round heated water bird bath for them. We so love watching them stop for a drink or take a group bath on the warmer days.

We have houses for the birds to roost & nest in, trees in our yard, and a variety of bird feeders to suit the needs of all of the birds in our area (Blue Jay, chickadee, nuthatch, sparrows, downy woodpecker and my favourite, the Northern Flicker who we have nicknamed the gentle giant. We also had some dark eyed Junco’s spend the winter here. I even have a bat house now, but shhhhh don’t tell my neighbors!

I boiled water on the stove so that I could get the icy bits off the edge of the bird bath. I wanted to ensure the birds could easily access the water while I was at work. I emptied the fly through Blue Jay feeder as I worried that the wet snow mixed with leftover food would create a paste that would stick to their beaks.

My Opa used to have a small farm and the shelled sunflower seeds I use to feed the birds have a smell that remind me of the feed he used to give to his animals. I felt proud to take the time to ensure everyone in my yard was taken care of before I left the house this morning.

My mindset shift might seem like a small thing but it’s not. Change is hard and for my automatic thoughts to be fundamentally different than they were as a non-vegan is pretty epic. This is such a welcome, unexpected change. I never set out to change my mindset like this, but I am thankful for this shift nonetheless.

WEEKLY CHECK IN: -2.2 lbs | 28.4 lbs to goal

If you are in the Calgary area and have yard space, I highly recommend hiring Andrew of Birds & Bees YYC. He is super affordable and knowledgeable and our backyard is thriving thanks to his expertise. You can even check out my testimonial on his site here.

Peace, love & plants,

Michelle 😊

p.s. What is keeping you from living your best life? You probably have an inkling of exactly what is holding you back. If I didn’t take steps to work on my food addiction, I would not be where I am today. There are things that have changed in my life for the better that I couldn’t have even dreamt up as a food addict. The old me thought eating pizza was my life, but turns out my food addiction was keeping me FROM my life. It’s hard to understand that when you are in the thick of addiction though.